I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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