Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
