I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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