Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
