this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
