No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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