Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
