I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
