I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
