just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
