im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
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