I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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