actually, I'm a sock model
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
