Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am one with the molecules
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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