He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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