Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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