You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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