her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
