I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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