Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
