Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
