ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This baby is an asshole
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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