when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
