Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
