Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
cat food counts as protein by the way
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
