I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
