Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
