My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
