I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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