i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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