I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
