I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
