Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
