Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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