shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
