put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
