"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
even my farts smell like vagina
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
3 2 1 whiskey
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
