Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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