dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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