I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
