eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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