i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just high enough for therapy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Randomize
