he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
