i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
