I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
