1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
don't judge my taste in strippers
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
