My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
