Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
