I CAN MOONWALK!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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