I think i peed on brittanys purse
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
