I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
