i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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